Sometimes, politics is just way too serious. Have you seen C-SPAN? Just watching five minutes of a random House subcommittee hearing is enough to put the average American to sleep. That’s why we have no problem with politicians and politicos spicing things up and getting a little sassy every now and then. But there’s a difference between being sassy or having a sense of humor and being childish. Enter, our wimp for this Wednesday: yard sign bandits.
Sure, yard sign bandits don’t have the prestige or gravitas of some of our previous wimps (it’s hard to compete with accepting potentially illegal campaign contributions), but they are wimps nonetheless. Why? Because it takes a certain kind of wimp to steal, dismantle or deface yard signs in the middle of the night.
The questions arise: What purpose does yard sign banditry serve? Is it cathartic? Is this an organized movement to intimidate people or random acts of delinquency by the insanely bored? What do you DO with the yard signs if you steal them?
We don’t really care about the answers. We just think there are better alternatives to participating in a democracy than messing with yard signs — knock on doors, sign a petition, VOTE. Even better, get your own yard signs that carry your message or candidate and help put them around town. (Or maybe yard sign bandits are stealing signs for their own yards? Are they ignorant that a simple phone call to any campaign office will get you a yard sign, free of charge? Our questions are endless.)
Really, yard sign banditry is just an annoying way to waste a candidate or organization’s campaign money and time, because the yard signs usually get replaced. It’s the least bold/most wimpy thing you can do to participate in campaign season.